I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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