Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
