you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
