Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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