i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
