somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
