I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
