How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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