for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
