There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
