im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
