Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I checked into jail on foursquare
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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