so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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