I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
