friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Operation Purity has been aborted
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
