Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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