im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
