toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
