haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
