you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I want to make a zoo with you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
