i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
