so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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