Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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