you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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