We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
