I want to make a zoo with you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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