So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
