Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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