I just cut my nipple shaving
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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