Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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