When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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