her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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