i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Be still, my beating vagina.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
