I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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