why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
