She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
