But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
