And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
