Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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