It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I came so hard my ears popped.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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