there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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