you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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