i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I need to align my fucking chakras
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
