I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
