I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
