honey bunches of taint.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
