Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
