Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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