i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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