that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
